Månadsarkiv: januari 2018

Little by little

Some days go by ok. Today, not so much. Getting your husband back in an urn, is nothing I can recommend, even if he do look stylish in pearly black and silver. Then go to the bank and close his bank account, and the lady serving me started to cry when she saw who and what I was there for….

But funny enough, the hardest bit was to put his wheelchairs out by the gate for collection in the morning. How I have hated those wheelchairs over the last few years, up and down the stairs, in and out of the car, scraping all the walls inside, and now going going gone…..

I know it will get easier, I know time will heal, but bloody hell, this hurts! Everything that will never be now, all the hopes, dreams, plans, all gone now. Just like that, poff….

Go and hug your partner, you never know what is around the corner!

All we are is dust in the wind…..

 

Grief

Lots of time has passed, and it is time to shake life in to my blog again. To put my words out there, one way or the other, has been a big part of my life since I was a child, so why not now, when I need to?

I have lost my husband. He is dead. Simple as that. My heart is broken, but I will survive. He died peacefully in his favourite spot on our couch, no pain, no struggle. Just passed away not knowing the grief he left behind. I am grateful for that. Life has been hard for all of us the last few years, now there is no more pain and struggle for him.

I have chosen the music for his scattering today. It was hard, but to honor his memory it had to be done right and carefully. It will be done over flowing water, l will play his favourite song, and let a couple of our beloved birds fly. , My darling Braveheart will be one of them, the other will be chosen by our son.

There have been many hard days in my life, and the day when this will have to be done will be the hardest. I hope I can do it with dignity and pride, so that our son can remember it with not only sadness,but also a day when we said goodbye to a Father who loved him and me with all his heart.

 

Rest in love and peace Billy

I love you, my furball.